Adulting. An Endless Loop ?

or just a packaged scam?

One thing I’ve always managed well is expectations and the urge for things to end quickly. While in Uniben, I always wished I felt the excitement of my coursemates who always dreamed of graduating; I didn’t. I knew anything as endless as working every day couldn’t be as exciting as something that had a climax like the structured Education system. I mean, with Education, there is some design that gives direction. You start a new semester/term, have midterms (after missing your folks from afar, coming back home, and getting respect for 1 and a half day before you’re sent to wash plates), and then there’s the climax of examination, and a new term/semester. There was a definite progression and if you were in the majority, you had pocket money to blow (and project money to pad/inflate your way to).

Why did they want to get out so fast? Did they not see the “miserable” majority who did a 9-5? I saw people work and do the same thing year after year, teaching the same course year after year. It was an endless loop that seemed to suck you in. I prayed for time to slow down and when I was in my final year, I sort of, for lack of a better word, dreaded the last day of Uni. I wasn’t eager to face the unstructuredness and endlessness that adulting and working had to offer. However, time is inevitable and I was an undergrad some 9 years ago now and a full adult against my will now.

However, I have come to understand that Adulting is similar to structured Education, only that it puts you in charge of everything. Adulting expects you to build it all, Apply to your own schools (Apply for Jobs), create your own Syllabus (Structure your Career), have your own mid-terms (Vacation), create your own examinations (Seek Promotions/Apply & Interview for better roles) or build your own school (entrepreneur your way into catering for other adults). It’s the same game but just more naked with no hedges.

Adulting lures you into thinking you’re in charge but it’s really just shackling you at the same time with more responsibilities. It’s almost like it enables you to create your own blockers. Oh, you have your own place now? Great! But here, take RENT with you. Oh, you have a Job that pays you now? Oh, here is me taking all your time for that. Ahh, that’s you making all that money? Here is the planning you need to make for the future as you’re getting old. There is always something to do. Except you’re a trust fund kid (Home Schooled), you can just get that structure created for you.

One way to keep life interesting in my opinion is by setting Adulting up like an Educational system it disguises to not be. There should be salient questions for the different phases it presents. When does the new term start? (The new term could be a new year, could be when your Japa plans click, could be your birthday, or could be your wedding) What are the resources/textbooks I’d need for this stage/term? (Do I need this training to get a better role? How can I Pivot to Tech? Do I start a master’s?) And when is the examination? (What’s the most challenging part of my plans? How do I get a better Network to get this gig/contract) What will a good result look like? (What if Canada doesn’t work? Is the UK okay?) Who will I celebrate the result with? (Do I want someone yet? Do I have the right people in my corner? Am I in the corner of my people?). Life is so random if you let it be, it’s half annoying. And if there is no curated structure to Adulting, you cannot articulate what the next stage or term means. Curate a new term, change something intentionally. Because how else will this all make sense?

Well, this is not motivational (the shege we have seen in Buhari's hand is motivation enough). Anyways, how do you curate Adulting not to be an endless loop of repetitions? You can leave a comment for others who wonder about this loop too.

PS: I discovered that I really enjoy running some time last year. Maybe my demons are pursuing me for real now lol. I'm mulling over running an upcoming marathon in May. There’s no reason I’m putting it here, except to motivate myself to sign up this weekend. The Marathon is May 7. Wish me luck